In addition to the content provided, more details surrounding the events detailed were given outside of this forum. However, they’ve been lost to time.
John Ashcroft Land wrote: ↑15 May 2019, 14:16Stuff I don't like:
Humility
Accurate depictions of historical events
Feminism
My job
Stuff I do like:
Donald Trump
The local bushmeat here in Japan (figure it out)
and self aggrandizement to the point of autofellatio.
There, you learned a new word -- autofellatio. Also, hello, my name is JAL. In the vein of that final thing on my Like List, I'm going to tell you a story.
Once, there was a guy named Douria. He was "delegate" of this place called "Osiris" in a browser game called "Nationstates". Folks said he was a do nothing delegate -- the Osiran Calvin Coolidge if you will. Silent Cal didn't do much, it's true; but I'd remark that his opponent, John Davis, was the lead defense attorney of "Separate but Equal" in Brown v Board of Education. Vote for Coolidge or vote for a guy who thinks blacks should be shoved into segregated schools. Douria ran for re-election, and his opponent, Cormac, was kind of like a John Davis figure -- a vote for Cormac was a vote for segregated schools, lynching, slavery, and Civil War. Unfortunately, public opinion in Osiris was in favor of expanding slavery to the Pacific coast and forcing blacks to drink from segregated water fountains, so they elected Cormac.
Actually, I wasn't following that Osiris election cycle and can't attest to the issues or merits of the candidates. But I envision that the election went something like that.
Anyway, Douria was like, woah fuck this. "I want freedom for the blacks." Hence he withdrew support of the Osiris established forum government and gave his nation to a girl named Nevadar. Nevadar was a blossoming medical doctor (of animals) in real life. She was really smart. However, she lacked experience running feeder delegacies or feeder governments, so she let me do it. She pinged me on skype one day asking me to take the Osiris delegate nation. I was like, fuck yeah, this is so dope. Douria's nation had a lot of influence. There were two other guys with a lot of influence. Detective Figs (Asta) and some other guy, I forget his name. I thought that perhaps I could eject one, but not both. So I decided to eject thousands of minnows instead. I ejected like 4,000 of them. Lol fucking noobs. Oh yeah, and we made Osiris a Gatesville colony, and put the Gatesville forum link and flag in the WFE.
We were deliberately gauche and foul. I think this was the first and most overt example of a UCR conquering a GCR. Everyone was butt hurt. Waah, muh feeder sovrenny. Haha. Suck on it. The Osiris "good guys", by the way, were a complete clusterfuck. Imagine a region run by a cadre of people like Earth, Cormac, and god only remembers who else. Yeah. I just wanted to eject a bunch of people and have something to laugh about on my evenings after work. For the other side, though, Osiris was their life -- their love lives; the sum total of their lives' accomplishments; etc. And here I was ejecting people and destroying things for the lulz.
At first, I didn't understand how influence worked. I was all like, "hey look at me, I've been feeder del four times, I understand influence", but I didn't really. Like nearly everything else that comes out of my mouth, it was a ruse. So I worked with my friend NES to eject random people from both Osiris and from the UIAF regions to figure out the influence equations together. We confirmed that I could eject exactly one of Asta and the other high influence guy. I had loads of influence to eject their endorsers, however, and all the other newly created nations in Osiris. I launched a campaign to eject all newly created nations in Osiris while their influence was still zero. I did this for two or three weeks. People were all like, dude your ejections are starting to get boring, so I stopped. I framed the mass ejections in terms of feeder security or something, but honestly i just wanted to eject people and receive funny telegrams in return.
Because I was being such an irreverent megadouche, I was also hemorrhaging endorsements. Unlike most NSers, I had a job and a life, so I was unable to tend to morning updates. I needed a huge endorsement gap between me and Asta. We came up with this idea to have a bunch of imperialist switchers move into the region, which would let us hold the region with a huge endorsement count until the switchers accumulated a large amount of influence, by which time we'd be bored with Osiris anyway. NES floated this idea by Corm and Asta, and they were chill with it. Also a bunch of fenda scum moved dozens and dozens of switchers into the region around the same time, but never received credit for it, cause fendas suck or whatever.
We moved to a new forum with Usiris in the URL. Kraut Killers, on the GV high council, was root. Bunch of Osiris native turbovirgin losers were like LOL USIRIS IS MISSPELLED, IT SHOULD BE SPELLED OSIRIS LOLS cause they had nothing else on us. I was a Silicon Valley engineer; Nevadar was a doctor. You don't suppose we knew how to spell Osiris.
I called our government the Osiris Imperium, and self styled my title as Governor Imperator, with Nevadar as the titular head of state. Our government was stocked to the gills with all time allstar players like Kharkistania and Anur Sanur. Speaking of forum destruction, Aeazar created 12 multies and endorsed me with them. This really really pissed people off lol. A rare moment of conscientiousness overcame me, and I ejected Aeazar. People were like, wow JAL is such a cool guy, love that guy cause he stood up to forum destruction in an obscure browser game no one in the outside world cares about.
One day NES came to me and was like, Woah shit Asta's figuring out that our switchers have enough influence now to do real damage do your influence. So I ejected some more people, and we came up with a "deal". Nevadar didn't like Asta, but she did like Cormac, so as part of the deal, I'd eject Asta and let Corm swap into the delegacy. There were a bunch of other lolzy highlights of the deal, but I forget the details. Cormac did a TAO maneuver with the other high endorsement nation whose name I forget. That guy was able to eject Douria, and Corm scrapped what remained of the deal. I somehow didn't see the TAO maneuver coming, and was hoping to see the deal sustained for a week or two. Oops.
But in the end it didn't really matter. Gatesville and Osiris would even go onto cooperate privately in military affairs once or twice. Douria would be welcomed back into the Osiran cabinet, and I would be granted citizenship, as the "good guys" in Osiris all turned on each other, purging the Empire and stuff. KRO collapsed. I basically won.
The end.