Corrupt A Wish

[Emmanuel Bassil]

...What do you wish for?

[Guy]

I wish for a koala.

[Emmanuel Bassil]

Granted.
But he mauls your eyes out and you go blind.

I wish for invincibility and eternal life

[Thought Transference]

(Sorry I forgot to include my wish previously. Brain slipped out of gear.)

Granted.
But then you're transported someplace where you will never meet another living being, ever, and you can't escape.

I wish I could spend every winter in the Mediterranean.

[Emmanuel Bassil]

Granted, but you spend it in a quaint village named Zahle in Lebanon.
Enjoy the Syrian spies and weaponry everywhere!


I wish for a red shirt.

[Thought Transference]

Granted.

But it's size "24-30 months".

I wish I could spend August in Taiwan.

[Apollo]

Granted, but your plane crashes on the flight there.

I wish for a Cookie.

[Thought Transference]

Granted. But the cookie has been engineered to infect your computer with a spam-bot.

I wish I could catch up on my stack of unread books.

[yumyum36]

When yo catch up to them, you've already lost the marathon.

I wish for 200 posts.

[Thought Transference]

Granted, but they turn out to be fence posts and you can't dig post holes.

I wish my shoes didn't wear out.

[Apollo]

Granted, but they explode when you put them on.

I wish I was faster.

[Thought Transference]

Granted. But you become so fast that you can't slow down or stop, have a series of serious accidents, and end up unable to move at all.

I wish I had a dish of mint chip ice cream.

[Apollo]

Granted, but it's posioned and you die a horrible death.

I wish I was grand king of TRR!

[Thought Transference]

Granted. But the crown that the grand king of TRR must wear, unaided, weighs 250kg, and when you are crowned you are crushed under its weight.

I wish I could grant the most important RL wish of all the people I know including people in NS.

[Almonaster]

You could... but that would unleash a horrific plague and sterilise the Earth.

I wish I hadn't given you that option.

[Thought Transference]

Granted, but all that leaves is Sedge wanting to make the whole world shades of pink.

I wish somebody would invent men's toiletries that smell like this espresso I'm drinking.

[Almonaster]

Granted. You even manage to find and buy some. However you soon tire of the constant sniggering, and discover that you hate being called Starbuck.


I wish that Battlestar Galactica had never been made.

[Simon Cowell of the RR]

Granted, but Twilight is now the only thing on television. Ever.

I wish I could win Cross Country races again.

[Thought Transference]

Granted. But when terrorists take to masquerading as cross country runners so they can spy unobtrusively on potential bombing targets by running around taking pictures, all cross country runners --- including you --- are arrested and shipped off to Gitmo.

I wish I could learn to sky dive.

[Libetarian Republics]

Granted. But you've never learn how to land from sky diving.

I wish to own a house.

[God-Emperor]

Ya own a house, but it burns down the day after ya move the last box in.

I wish I didn't havta sleep.

[Thought Transference]

Granted. But you become so bored with being awake all the time that you start playing Russian roulette. Before long, you decide to spice it up with a second bullet. Then a third. Then you lose.

I wish I could've had a modern HD video recorder and an unlimited supply of memory cards at Woodstock.

[Libetarian Republics]

Granted, too bad you don't have anything to record.

I wish I was the President.

[God-Emperor]

Granted, but you're assassinated.

I wish I didn't havta go to class.

[Libetarian Republics]

Granted, but you have to go to work.

I wish I didn't had to go to school.