The Security Council
Condemn Tinhampton
A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region.
Category: Condemnation | Nominee: Tinhampton | Proposed by: The Ice States
Link to the discussion on the NS ForumsUnderstanding the importance of influence and power in the global political climate of today, but chastising those whose pursuit of the above causes extreme disruption and endangerment to others;
Incensed that Tinhampton is one such agent of chaos, the actions of which in the hallowed halls of the World Assembly (WA) and beyond have destroyed the livelihoods of many;
Shocked that, despite governing a small city-state, the government of Tinhampton has funded a horrifyingly colossal WA department, with an unending roster of ambassadors churning out hundreds of WA legislation drafts in an attempt to inundate these consecrated corridors;
Dismayed by Tinhampton's scattershot antics in the General Assembly (GA) chambers, which include:
proposing legislation on various irrelevant non-issues such as a WA Peace Prize and an international “clap for carers” day, squandering valuable gnomic resources;
recklessly repealing numerous important GA resolutions, leading to consequences ranging from the loss of exquisite WA-sponsored merchandise to the destruction of marine environments and genocidal war criminals evading capture; and
terminating copyrights over countless items of intellectual property under the guise of "civil rights" via "Protecting Public Domain Dedications", risking the profitability of the arts, sciences and other important fields;
Disappointed that Tinhampton's shenanigans in the Security Council (SC) have not fared much better, where in addition to flooding its chambers with trite such as wishy-washy virtue-signalling declarations on equality and self-determination as well as shiny badges for "hot topic of the day nations" with no lasting international legacy, it praised the policy papers produced by Sacara's propagandistic and malicious think tanks via "Commend Sacara", with one encouraging nations to deport all immigrants and another to burn down temples of peaceful worshippers;
Stunned that, despite having the ignominy of proposing a record-breaking 26 defeated-at-vote proposals, Tinhampton has taken it upon themselves to operate an archive of every defeated SC proposal ever in a desperate attempt to profit off its own failures and secure its infamy;
Perturbed at Tinhampton's vicious "verbal feng shui" tactic, in which Tinhamptonian ambassadors prey on inexperienced authors by offering to rewrite their WA drafts to make them more "acceptable", an attempt to further the Tinhamptonian agenda and gain a shred of legitimacy in these chambers whilst throwing these newer authors under the bus should things go awry;
Distraught at Tinhampton's forays into the world of sports in an attempt to feign legitimacy through cultural participation and sportswash its own misdemeanors, including:
granting "independence" to its ex-colony Saint Eleanor, when in reality the Tinhamptonian government controls the nation as a puppet state, concentrating their sports resources there, Saint Eleanor being a disgustingly luxurious and oil-rich nation, that bankrolls their leagues and national teams despite little grassroots support, leading to a highly undeserved victory in the 84th Cup of Harmony by an Eleanorian team managed by Priscilla Evans (from Tinhampton's winning team in the 73rd Cup of Harmony); and
exploiting the well-regarded names of Alasdair I Frosticus, Nephara, and Cassadaigua by writing commendations for them in the SC, solely to increase Tinhampton and Saint Eleanor's public images in the WA and sporting worlds respectively,
Abhorring Tinhampton for stirring up conflict in foreign nations before swooping in and "solving" issues, a twisted and sovereignty-violating method to grasp at what straws of recognition and legitimacy it could find, which include:
"One in the Arm for Leader?", where Tinhampton latched onto Turbeaux’s well-intentioned mission to reduce drug overdoses to propose the prohibition of needle exchanges in thousands of nations, trampling on public health; and
"Profitable for Doctrine", an award-winning yet sinister policy paper which took advantage of an ongoing debate on the taxation of holy texts to promote the defunding of public welfare and infrastructure;
Believing that Tinhampton's reckless quest for soft power has wreaked havoc on an international scale, and that a condemnation from this body would bring a halt to their calamitous clout chase;
The Security Council hereby condemns Tinhampton.
Co-author: Honeydewistania
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